Victories

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~Bloodshed~

Today exposed me to the little victories of everyday life. Was trying to help dexiang with the vehicle and so stayed behind with Ps, jonny, boey and kumar. Wasn't much of a help though because the parts are really beyond repair. Then theres the irritating problem of not being able to tow the vehicle into gedong. Anyway I was running late for my Final Theory test and so i had to go at around 5 while the others stayed to wait for the RCV. Problem was, I had no transport, meaning I had to go back to camp by either cab or bus. I had no money with me but they were rather generous in lending me some funds for a ride back. And so I book out of gedong camp walking the 1 Km route all the way to the main road in a dirty long four that is wet from the rain and stained with grease and dust. There was no cab around and so i tried calling for one. Somehow, they just couldn't give me a cab. That left me with no choice but to take a bus to chua chu kang. Fine. To my rather expected horror, my ezy-link was dry. And so I had to borrow money from some other passenger in a rather pathetic manner. Want cab no cab. Want bus also no money. Dirty boots, dirty uniform. Nothing I would ever book out in.Still, I went back to camp had a good shower and went for my test with plenty of time. Seems like, people do fall into pathetic situations in time ~lang bei~ but still, nothing can cripple a strong heart. Just stay calm, relax and think of ways out. Nothing can stop you. It made me realise how life can be intereting even at low points. Even the worst situation might be a good learning experience. And so now I have my weekend ahead, to my greatest horror, my book in timing is 1330 monday.

Imagine this:
Even before I come home, I get a phone call from my lao bu, shouting at me for hanging up on her because I badly need to conserve my battery. POI: In the above situation, if my phone dies on me...hmm...i will be .... well done.
Coming home, I see an old hag with a face as if everyone owes her something. With a threat to argue with my dad. What the fucking cjb. Shouting at every grand old fuck thing. Complaining about minute things. Troubles she stir up out of no where just to get at people. She complained about a fucking jeans that she bought for my sister, somehow managing to link it to a major rebellious attitude. Scream at me about how my sister and dad have been being very tempremental these days. Whose the one here I wonder. It seems that all she is capable of doing is conjure small problems or even nothing into matters or defiance, serious mental problems, major shifts in attidude and all hell breaks loose. It all springs from nothing. Why is it that a hag at 50 years old thinks much like a toddler at 5, thinking the worst of how people are treating her; failing to ever ever reflect upon herself and how she have err. She just wants the pick a fight and prove her schizophrenic point.
Now you all see my point. All the financial and livelihood independence I have always dreamt of achieving. To break loose from this tragedy. It shaped all of me. Made me learn to save, work, study, forge my own ideologies learn the facts of life the hard way. Army is just a form of escape. It doesn't solve anything. Everything cranks down on me the moment I step foot into the house. And I know, even till the day when I have my own cosy family-wife and children- and house to reside, it will still plague me. Because of my sisters who might never get off her grip.
Seems like I should just forget my plans about happily relaxing at home. I need refuge in my friends' house I guess.